Amazing! 6th grade violinist becomes prodigy by not practicing!
“Amazing! 6th grade violinist becomes prodigy by not practicing!”
Despite a string of 0 minutes in his practice log, Sean thinks he’s just seconds away from being the next YouTube hit.
“Yeah my teacher says I need to practice. But you think Kobe practices? Come on! He’s in the news and then he’s at the game doin’ his thing. That’s me. I’ll be at the concert. There’s no way I’ll miss it. They need to see how I obliterate it on stage. Mrs. S. thinks I make sounds like…. well this is what she said “…like a cat put into my Nutri-Bullet on low speed.”. Ha! That shows her! I’m only on high speed.”
When asked how his YouTube career is starting off the Sean-in-ator had this to say. “Oh man awesome! Yep. As soon as I get that new hi-def Zoom recorder and start posting vids, I’m a star.”
“Come on – look at my dad. He’s never had a lesson. But when he puts on that tie of his. Bam! It’s like…like… I don’t know…there’s gotta be a famous violin player that looks like that. Probably the violin dude for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Yeah like he ever needed lessons.”
When I asked ‘Screechin’ Dad’ why he didn’t even put his bow correctly between the bridge and fingerboard?
“Pfft.. Why? I can do amazing screeches just fine where it is. I mean, can you see this tie?”
More and more people are entering this new non-practicing movement or ‘NaPalM’ as they like to refer to it.
When pressed if he knew that the little white box was in his case he replied, “Um duh! Everyone knows it’s to clean the horsehair. See I know the hair is horsehair. It is horsehair, right?”
Little non practicing Stevie is still wondering why his parents haven’t invited him to play at church. “Lots of my friends play at the services and they’re not even that good. Sure they know a few notes on that string or something. But none of them can play as loud as I can. Surely that’s something God wants his people to hear, right? And WTF? I’m wearing a $#^%*&@ vest!”
Stevie’s dad (The Stever) didn’t want to be left out of the action when he read about some supposedly famous violinist playing in the subway.
“I heard about it or maybe read it on NPR. Ya know – the NPR newspaper. I like newspapers. I’m trying to bring them back and get kids to read again. So I was reading the public radio newspaper. And there was this guy playing in the subway. Like people are supposed to knew who he is. I just cut out the download picture and whammo! I got this! See? Twins! I bet I could get a few bucks too down there playing. I won’t even clean my bow that yellow orange stuff that looks like candy. Maybe I’ll give it to hungry people down there.”
The Stever went on saying, “I don’t like to be hindered by proper – and what is proper?- technique or even left versus right. How do they know which side of my brain is better? Only my brain knows. I mean I don’t even know.”
Both Deutsche Grammophon and Nonesuch records have not yet replied to our request to know why they are not pursuing this ever-growing body of NaPalMs.